A Picture of Me Before Lolita Came Into My Life (30 Days of Lolita Day 12)

March 13, 2019

Get ready for some cringe, because I'm reluctantly sharing a pre-lolita photo, shortly before I discovered the fashion and made my first purchases.

You poor girl.

This was from a night I spent studying when I was still doing my music business course at Musicians Institute. An uneventful night in a tank top and PJ bottoms (still my go-to when I'm at home, I guess I haven't changed much). I was probably feeling good about my hair so I took a picture, which is silly because just look at that chop job. Ugh.

This picture was:
  • Pre-lolita
  • Pre-dark fashion
  • Pre-makeup skills
  • Pre-wigs
  • Pre-liner and lashes
  • Pre-a lot of things that are now weirdly huge parts of my identity.
It's also remarkable that my eyebrows even showed up. Back then I would pluck my brows down to weird lines, which was I guess popular then.

Rather than totally rip on myself, though, I'll choose to reflect on how much my tastes, skills, and interests have developed over the last five years or so. I've really found myself! I used to look for an identity, but would always be thinking about if I looked good to strangers. Now I have an identity built out of parts of me and things that really resonate with me. I don't have to worry about what other people think because I'm more in tune with what I love and think. I do look at old pictures and cringe hard...but it also makes me happy to be where I'm at now. That's neat.